The pineapple on pizza

I am so sorry because this is neither about pineapples or pizza. I have been horny all day. Kyllan can't help, he is a fucking robot. Konan is an alien tit with no idea how to satisfy humans even though she has 5 nipples. Those nipples are as useless as the human appendix. I should … Continue reading The pineapple on pizza

The helium up my ass

It's been a long day. I throw myself onto the couch. I sigh in relaxation. I start expanding, like a balloon. Kyllan and Konan show up. I realize there is a pipe inserted into my anus. It's pumping gas into my gut. I will kill those two little shits. I am floating. I feel lightheaded. … Continue reading The helium up my ass

I got a date

The very hot spy that was tasked with monitoring my activities has developed a crush on me. He showed up at my place and asked to adopt two of my pregnant cats. When I asked how he knew about my pregnant cats, he told me everything. Should I tell him that I knew about him … Continue reading I got a date

Naming Tit / Officially part of the family

"If I knew we would fight about this I would never have participated. Pick a name already Kyllan. I don't care which one, I just want to get back to my work." I shout at Kyllan. "Yes. Oh, my supreme leader. Thank you for this honour. I will not let you down Tit." Kyllan mocks. … Continue reading Naming Tit / Officially part of the family

It’s Census Day

Fuck Fuck Fuck!!! "Kyllan, would you take care of the fainted human. Tit, come with me, we need to talk." I let out a big sigh. It's always weird talking to Tit. Until I finish working on my universal translator, I will have to keep touching Tit's middle nipple so we can communicate telepathically. I … Continue reading It’s Census Day