The pineapple on pizza

I am so sorry because this is neither about pineapples or pizza. I have been horny all day. Kyllan can't help, he is a fucking robot. Konan is an alien tit with no idea how to satisfy humans even though she has 5 nipples. Those nipples are as useless as the human appendix. I should … Continue reading The pineapple on pizza

Bee Stings and Stars

We were lying on the rooftop of my loft watching the stars. Kyllan had some lovely stories to tell me, mostly about cloning himself, taking over homo sapiens and being their supreme leader. He seems to be very talkative today and when I mentioned it he told me to cut him some slack because being … Continue reading Bee Stings and Stars

It is strangle time

On a random Saturday, while covering for Konan at work because she had to go to her planet for a bit. Hi How may I be of service. Strangle me please. Pardon I would like to purchase a crop top Pardon I would like to purchase a crop top Pardon I would like to purchase … Continue reading It is strangle time

The helium up my ass

It's been a long day. I throw myself onto the couch. I sigh in relaxation. I start expanding, like a balloon. Kyllan and Konan show up. I realize there is a pipe inserted into my anus. It's pumping gas into my gut. I will kill those two little shits. I am floating. I feel lightheaded. … Continue reading The helium up my ass

He (Part I)

Kyllan has gone frantic. He is distraught since I am not giving him any attention of late. He feels starved off the entirety of our discussions about stars and the universe. I never should have separated him from that tit (Chebet: 1 Konan: 1). Konan turned into a heroin addict and is in my basement … Continue reading He (Part I)

Naming Tit / Officially part of the family

"If I knew we would fight about this I would never have participated. Pick a name already Kyllan. I don't care which one, I just want to get back to my work." I shout at Kyllan. "Yes. Oh, my supreme leader. Thank you for this honour. I will not let you down Tit." Kyllan mocks. … Continue reading Naming Tit / Officially part of the family

It’s Census Day

Fuck Fuck Fuck!!! "Kyllan, would you take care of the fainted human. Tit, come with me, we need to talk." I let out a big sigh. It's always weird talking to Tit. Until I finish working on my universal translator, I will have to keep touching Tit's middle nipple so we can communicate telepathically. I … Continue reading It’s Census Day

Tit world

"Look, if I decide to go and explore the basement of a long-abandoned asylum in my spare time, it’s nobody’s business and I don’t want anyone to come to find me." I did go and no one came to find me. I did have Kyllan with me so there was no need to worry. They … Continue reading Tit world